Monday, October 23, 2006

Random Weekend Thoughts (aka, "Brian's Too Tired To Write A Real Post")

What's Playing in my Head: "Canadian Idiot", by "Weird Al" Yankovic

Quote of the Day: "The best thing about being a Nationals fan was that we were ones before there was such a thing." - Dave Lanham

Monday morning. Time to riff for a while:

* Rummage sale went well this weekend. So well that we went back twice, once on Saturday and once on Sunday. Got a lot of great stuff, and spent under $100. For me, this is a victory of epic proportions.

I say it went well, except for the time I'm looking at CD's (bought Nirvana's Nevermind for $3. Nice.) and I hear voices over my shoulder. This is not unusual (not because I routinely hear voices in my head, but because the sale is a loud and busy place). What was unusual was that there was an aisle full of crowded people behind me and I kept hearing these voices asking each other if the price was right on this thing or that thing.

So I turn around, and there's this old couple rifling through my cart, picking up the crap I'm buying. Not old in terms of losing it, senile Admiral Stockdale who-am-I-why-am-I-here. Old in terms of old enough to know better than to pull silly crap. Here's how that went:

OLD PEOPLE: So is this $1 or $2, I can't tell...

ME: Uh...excuse me. What are you doing?

OLD PEOPLE: Do you know how much this is?

ME: This is my cart. That's why I'm holding it.

OLD PEOPLE: Oh. Sorry. Well, you should really check to make sure what this price is on this so you don't get ripped off...blah blah blah...

ME: Okay. Sure.

OLD PEOPLE: Uh...We didn't realize...

Yes, right, silly ---ing me, I forgot that they stick carts full of videos, torch lamps, a Playstation, computer games and books in a full aisle next to the CD rack with a guy holding on to it, looking at CD's. What the ---- was I thinking?

I mean, really. If you're going to try to cherry pick stuff from other people's carts, try to be a little more subtle about it.

(*) Working out sucks. I was reminded of this fact this morning after spending 10 minutes doing ab crunches. Or to be more exact, trying to move after working out sucks. I have been popping Advil all week since I started exercising again two weeks ago. This is the price, I guess, for trying in vain to avoid having a gut the size of the Hindenburg.

(*) Speaking of guts the size of the Hindenburg, Applebee's. They have a new menu out, supposedly put together by Tyler Florence of Food Network. Actually, it's more appetizing than you'd think - they've de-emphasized the fatty, deep fried crap that they're so well-known for, in favor of actual meals that might be in the same hemisphere as healthy. I may be encouraged to go back there more now, given that I I'm not forced to look forward to Deep Fried Pork Rind sandwiches with Bacon Lard au jus or some crap like that.

(*) Okay, Rachael Ray is just getting annoying. It used to be that her psycho-perky, girl-next-door attitude was somewhat endearing in a quirky sort of way. My girlfriend and I used to (and still do, occasionally) watch 30 Minute Meals every night, and it was good, mostly because the recipes usually looked good. But now, I want to pull out my hair every time I see her.

Her problem is overexposure. She has gone the Tony Kornheiser route of self-promotion, with 30 different TV shows, 50 books, a magazine, guest shots on morning shows, etc. etc. I mean, just stop.

What sparked this off? I'm in Barnes & Noble this weekend, come out of the restroom, and what do I see but a stack of Rachael Ray's magazine in the hallway. I go out to the cooking section, and there's no less than 3 Rachael Ray cookbooks. At this point, I'm half-expecting her to start doing cooking demonstrations in my kitchen.

You're no fun anymore. Enough.


At October 24, 2006 10:57 AM, Anonymous K said... a Redskins fan, I thought you'd get a kick out of this:

Ethan Albright Strikes Back Against John Madden

Cheers :)

At October 24, 2006 11:50 AM, Anonymous Mediocre Fred said...

Rachael Ray ran smack into the Peter Principle some time ago. "30MM" is decent, but the ongoing quest for a Rachael-branded universe is too much. She just isn't talented enough to be a multi-media star.

Oh, and working out is totally overrated and should be avoided whenever possible.

At October 25, 2006 10:31 AM, Blogger B.C. said...


This is hilarious. Post of the week. I'll let you know when I stop laughing.


The thing about Rachael Ray is that she's the anti-Martha Stewart. Not pretentious, not obsessed with perfection, not focused on housecrap that normal, average people don't care about (oh, and no stock fraud, as far as I know).

She's also as nutty as a loon, and about as likeable if you watch her 50 shows. She's like garlic - in small doses, fine.


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