Why I Love Gas Wars

What's Playing in my Head: "Velvet Elvis", by Weird Al Yankovic

Quote of the Day: "My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so yeah." - Mitch Hedberg

I do a lot of driving these days, which means that I am gouged hard and often at the pump, just like every other sucker that needs to get someplace. So on the rare occasion when two gas companies start beating each other's brains in with an orgy of - gasp - competition, it brings a tear to me eye. Honest.

Case in point. On the way to Central Virginia (CenVA? CeeVee? Centia?), I pass through the sleepy burg of Gainesville. I use the term "sleepy burg" here, of course, in the sense of "sprawling, uncoordinated hell clusterfucked around a completely useless road system."

Along 29, headed back toward DC, there are two gas stations - Exxon and Wawa. Wawa just opened and has - gasp, again - a traffic light. Exxon is, well, Exxon. But being just down the street from each other, both places have developed this sort of gas station my-dick-is-bigger-than-yours syndrome.

The normal price for gas out that way (relatively low anyway) is something like $2.40/$2.50. Wawa's price? $2.19. Exxon's price? $2.17.

Holee shit.

On top of which, Exxon had a customer appreciation thing going on, with a typical DJ-on-Ex blasting hip hop and a Nascar...car...parked in the corner. And guess what? On the way back, Wawa's price was down to $2.17 as well.

It's fundamental insanity with cheap gas. $ign me up.