Sunday, October 08, 2006

My Name Is...(What?)

What's Playing in my Head: "Santa Monica", by Everclear

Quote of the Day: "Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth." - George Burns

Chikka-chikka...

Since I've started this blog, a bunch of people have e-mailed me asking why I don't use my full name on here, and why I use an initial for my last name. They also wonder who I am, what makes me tick, what kind of porn I like. Well, I'll tell you. Four out of five of those, anyway.

My real name is Brian Cricezewskiewicz. I'm half-English, half-German and half-Polish, with a soupcon of militant Czech thrown in. I'm a forensic anthropologist, and I like to practice arc welding in my spare time. My favorite show is Dancing With The Stars, and I can cook up a mean gazpacho.

I was born in upper New England, near Presque Isle, Maine. I spent my childhood playing competitive team tennis and attending boy scout jamborees. After moving to the Washington area, I went to high school in the best of Anacostia neighborhoods and learned to drive on the Suitland Parkway. I earned a full scholarship to the University of Virginia, where I studied advanced psychochemistry with a minor in molecular neurobiology. Today, I'm one of the foremost criminal investigators in the Commonwealth of Virginia.

I'm so glad I could let you all get to know me.

Oh, and as a footnote, everything I just said is complete bullshit. Thank you. *


* Gratuitous "My Cousin Vinny" reference. +

+ Pathetic attempt to sound culturally relevant.

4 Comments:

At October 09, 2006 12:49 PM, Anonymous Mediocre Fred said...

Geez Louise, man... "My Cousin Vinny" is your attempt to be culturally relevant? You're making me look young and hip by comparison. You should stick to salivating over Meg White.

 
At October 10, 2006 9:18 AM, Blogger B.C. said...

What can I say...I thought a Golden Girls mention would be a bit dated.

 
At October 10, 2006 9:44 AM, Anonymous Mediocre Fred said...

Can I get you some arthritis medication? Maybe some Metamucil?

 
At October 10, 2006 12:44 PM, Blogger B.C. said...

No. You can just call me Wilford.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home