My Name Is...(What?)

What's Playing in my Head: "Santa Monica", by Everclear

Quote of the Day: "Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth." - George Burns

Chikka-chikka...

Since I've started this blog, a bunch of people have e-mailed me asking why I don't use my full name on here, and why I use an initial for my last name. They also wonder who I am, what makes me tick, what kind of porn I like. Well, I'll tell you. Four out of five of those, anyway.

My real name is Brian Cricezewskiewicz. I'm half-English, half-German and half-Polish, with a soupcon of militant Czech thrown in. I'm a forensic anthropologist, and I like to practice arc welding in my spare time. My favorite show is Dancing With The Stars, and I can cook up a mean gazpacho.

I was born in upper New England, near Presque Isle, Maine. I spent my childhood playing competitive team tennis and attending boy scout jamborees. After moving to the Washington area, I went to high school in the best of Anacostia neighborhoods and learned to drive on the Suitland Parkway. I earned a full scholarship to the University of Virginia, where I studied advanced psychochemistry with a minor in molecular neurobiology. Today, I'm one of the foremost criminal investigators in the Commonwealth of Virginia.

I'm so glad I could let you all get to know me.

Oh, and as a footnote, everything I just said is complete bullshit. Thank you. *


* Gratuitous "My Cousin Vinny" reference. +

+ Pathetic attempt to sound culturally relevant.