Brian's Driving Adventures #2 ½: What Goes Around...

What's Playing in my Head: "You Want It All", by Silvertide

Quote of the Day: "An optimist says, 'The drink is half full.' A pessimist says, 'The drink is half full, but I might have bowel cancer.' " - Bruce McCullough, "The Kids In The Hall"

Sometimes I can't help but smile. Even in DC traffic.

So I'm driving home from work last night, as I tend to do, and I'm coming into Tyson's Corner. (Tyson's Corner, for those of you who aren't from the DC area, is Olde English for "Place of a Thousand Traffic Jams") You'll remember from Brian's Driving Adventures #2 the general scenario of Jackass #453 using a right-hand turn lane to pass someone. Here's my funky drawing to illustrate:


Why I was suprised that this happened again is beyond me. Maybe I believed in this vague notion of the faintest glimmer of goodness in people, I don't know. Whatever.

So I'm driving behind a brand-new Cadillac STS, which is riding the bumper of a Mercedes S-Class going down Route 7. (Northern Virginia? The hell you say...) All of a sudden, Caddy Boy darts into the turn lane. Now this just happens to be the turn lane for the regional library, so at this point I'm thinking, "You're going to a library at 9:30 at night? WTF?"

Soon enough, though, I figure out what he's doing. Which is good for me, because I know how long that turn lane is - specifically, that is, a lot shorter than you'd think. Caddy Boy, however, didn't.

My exact thought at that moment: "This is going to be a shame."

The Benz, for its part, wasn't taking any crap from this douchebag, and kept on rolling. So did I. Which left Caddy Boy running out of real estate and slamming the brakes, going full-on into the gravel at the end of the turn lane. As I rolled on by and watched this dope stewing in the humiliation he deserved, I couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, a lesson was learned well.

That's when I saw a middle finger shoot up from the Caddy.

Got to love Northern Virginia. In the end, though, all I can say is this: if you were the driver of the Benz, rock on.

And if you're Caddy Boy, I hope you don't choke too much on that gravel dust.