Wednesday, October 18, 2006

I'm Going To Be Even Richer

What's Playing in my Head: "Battle Flag", by Lo Fidelity All-Stars

Quote of the Day: “You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? "That's right." Okay I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready? "Uh huh." Dinosaurs. You know the world's 12 thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, they existed in that time, you'd think it would have been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point. "And lo Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus...with a splinter in his paw. And O the disciples did run a shriekin': 'What a big fucking lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw and the big lizard became his friend.” - Bill Hicks

On the off-chance that my career selling men's cologne doesn't pan out, I have now come up with The Second Greatest Business Idea In The History Of Western Capitalism.

I was on Pantops tonight, doing what I usually do on weeknights (ie, going home). I had stopped for gas across from the Giant when I saw a darkened storefront that housed a camera shop. Dark, ostensibly, because it was closed. In the window, there was a neon sign, glowing in the dark in this seamy, amoral sort of way. That's when The Second Greatest Business Idea etc. hit me.

I'm going to start Cowtown's highest-class brothel, catering to the elite of this town. It will sit in a shopping center, camouflaged as a camera and photo developing shop, with a secret back room and basement cloaking our highly illegal (and highly profitable) activities.

I will call it The F Stop.

At night, I will personally meet all of my clients at the door, pimped-out in Gucci and Louis Vutton. Cognac will flow freely, with the kind of loud, bass-humping music that would only be found in the finest whore house. The cover charge will be a cool $50 bill.

Of course, to keep everything on the QT, we'll have to act like a real camera store during the day. I will have photo seminars on the weekends and big sales on Polaroids (the cameras, not the pictures) every Thursday. My shelves will be full of film and Nikons, so full that no one will notice the secret revolving door in the back wall.

The F Stop will quickly become the hottest piece of the underground scene in Cowtown, making me filthy rich in the process. I will then marry my world famous billionaire bikini supermodel astrophysicist girlfriend and retire to Fiji.

I am entirely too brilliant.


At October 19, 2006 9:32 AM, Anonymous Mediocre Fred said...

Okay, I was prepared to doubt you on this one, but you've done it. This is brilliance, sheer brilliance. To whom should I make out the giant check necessary to underwrite this venture?

At October 19, 2006 11:40 PM, Anonymous K said...

You're too late.


At October 20, 2006 9:23 AM, Blogger B.C. said...


Hold the checks. Papa Shaft is highly disappointed.

At October 20, 2006 9:25 AM, Blogger B.C. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At October 20, 2006 12:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice blogs...


Post a Comment

<< Home