Thursday, October 12, 2006

No Soap, Radio

What's Playing in my Head: "Take On Me", covered by Reel Big Fish

Quote of the Day: "If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" - Unknown

I've been retarded about posting the last couple of days, mostly because work has been hellishly busy and causing me to get home after 9 at night. (10 o'clock dinners? The hell you say...) I also have been retarded in not responding to k, who posted a couple of questions on the comments thing on here 2 or 3 days ago. (I'd mimic my blogging friend Mediocre Fred by saying "Loyal reader k", but that would presuppose some sort of loyalty to me, or that anyone actually reads my blog on any sort of regular basis.)

Since I'm without a post for today, and because I'm phenomenally lazy, I decided to take the easy way out and write a response to k. Sound good? Great. Away we go.

First off...great Nelson reference in this post. :)

Thank you. I've been called a virtuoso at quoting the Simpsons. The force is strong within me.

Secondly, as a radio person, I'm curious as to what it is exactly that bothers you about the BGB. When I was there, they played on average 6 to 8 songs per hour whcih is pretty standard for a music station morning drive. Is it bigger than just not playing enough music in the morning? Something about the actual content of the show that rubs you the wrong way?

Okay, here's the deal with me and BGB (yes, I do actually know the real name). I don't mind comedy shows. I've listened to one in particular - Don and Mike - since I was a brooding, sarcastic teenager (before I turned into a brooding, sarcastic adult). But this is what bugs me about BGB:

1.) This is the only real rock station in town (NRN doesn't count. If I wanted to hear 1 cut an hour from a band I've actually heard of, I'd probably go on BearShare and mash my palm on the keyboard.) What are you supposed to do for rock in the mornings when your only rock station is filled with a show that spends half of every hour not playing rock? In 2+ weeks of flipping past 3WV in the mornings, I have not once caught them actually playing a song. (My God...a song? What is this, a radio station?)

2.) The whole concept behind BGB is the usual jive-ass DJ "Whoo-whoo! Five-thirty in the AM, and you're listening to The All-New Morning Zoo!!! Starring Joe Bloe and Rice Aroni, with Jim Beam on the news, Penny Lane with traffic, and the rest of the wacky All-New Morning Zoo Breakfast Bunch!!! Stay tuned to win your chance to qualify to win an exclusive one-of-a-kind Arby's onion ring, only on the ALL-NEW POWER 105, baby!!! WHOOO!!!!!"

Insert loud, brash DJ, mix with loud, brash sidekick. Add stories "ripped from the headlines", and a fistful of obnoxious callers doing voices or their own bits. Rinse. Lather. Repeat in top 50 markets across the country. Voila. Instant headache.

3.) Honestly, I just don't find them funny. At all. I'd get more laughs out of a funeral procession (on the off-chance that someone might show up driving a bright yellow hearse). The jokes are corny, the bits are hokey, and the pacing is tired. It's like listening to a morning zoo version of The Alan Brady Show.

And I'm also curious as to how old you are and how old your girlfriend is.

Since you asked...The last time I checked my ankle tag, I was 26. My girlfriend, The Dazzling Brunette, is 27. (So far, dating an older woman has gone pretty well. She has not yet beaten me to a bloody pulp, or scratched curse words into the finish of my car, which are always good signs that a relationship is going well.) *

Personally I had a love-hate relationship with the BGB morning show (not the guys love loved them-and still do-personally). Some days they were funny as all get out. Other days I couldn't bear to listen.

I'm sure they're nice people in general. I just don't like their show. I will admit that different people like different things, but this is one thing I didn't like.

I hope that response was worth the wait. (You can stop laughing now)


* She has, however, given me the evil eye over the whole thinking she's totally insane thing from Monday's post. Which I fully apologize for. I intended to say that she is only partially insane. I deeply regret the error.


At October 13, 2006 10:07 AM, Anonymous Mediocre Fred said...

I hope that couch you're undoubtedly sleeping on is comfortable.

At October 13, 2006 11:02 AM, Anonymous K said...

Thanks for responding to my questions Brian. I'm always looking for honest perspectives on different facets of radio. It's important for programmers to know what loyal listeners are thinking...good and bad...and it's not often that we get that kind of feedback. The only reason why I asked your age(s) was to determine where in the target demographic you fit.

I haven't had a chance to listen to the music on 3WV or to the BGB since I left there a couple years ago so I'm not sure how the station has evolved musically or talent-wise. They have some really talented people there though. As someone who has presumably lived in the Mid-Atlantic region (which is where I also grew up and currently reside), you are fully aware of how horrible DC stations and a good majority of the jocks are. So you're lucky to have a good station like 3WV with solid, talented jocks.

As for the BGB, I've always felt like they've had enormous potential but very little guidance in terms of development. The guy that is in charge of jock development is also part of the morning show and therefore makes it hard to be unbiased in his approach to the strengths and weaknesses of the show and also in his ability to lay the smack down when needed because he's personally involved with the show.

But given the fact that the alternative is piped-in syndicated morning shows like the one I'm saddled with at my current station, I would say the BGB is definitely the better of the two options. But I understand your desire to hear more music in the morning.

What's bizarre is that in a great deal of radio markets where music-intensive shows go for the "most music in the morning" route, they sadly, fail or flounder in the ratings. That was the case at my station and it's true at many stations across the country.

It's like how people bitch about not having enough clubs that have live music but then no one goes out to see local bands in the clubs that do have bands.

As for Fred's assessment of being a "loyal" reader...(LOL)...let me say that I enjoy your refreshing candor and find your writing style to be engaging and therefore do pop in periodically to read what you've written. I've been blogging on LJ for 6 years so most of my time is spent there.


At October 13, 2006 11:27 AM, Blogger B.C. said...

Couch? I'm sleeping on the floor. Under the rug.

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